Managing Epectations of Kink

“Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist.” ~Carlin

While there’s been a recent boom of practitioners, I’ve been studying and involved in the kink/BDSM scene on and off since the early 2000’s as a freelance performer, producer, photographer, organizer and DJ, but more recently as a writer on FetLife.

Prior to that, it was an insular community with a lot of gatekeeping and hoops to jump through in order to be included. These days, the pendulum has swung all the way over and proper vetting is on a serious decline.

Kink is kindness and abuse is abuse.

While most of you probably know about BDSM from 50 Shades of Grey, and while I’m sure many of you have heard that it’s not an accurate representation of what we do, the truth goes far beyond that.

Popularization of BDSM — and by entension the greater world of kink — has actually opened the door to the Christian Greys of the world to use our community as a feeding ground. Welcome to the exploitation of kink.