I transitioned in 2005. I didn't lose much of value when I transitioned because I had finally realized what you did: that nobody around me loved or valued me for me.

I saw it as a cleansing.

However, the toughest part was custody court. Despite a ruling of 50/50 custody, a lie my ex told left her in charge of my son's schooling, which led to his triangulation from everyone around him until he realized there was nothing left for him in California and begged me to let him move to Tennessee.

It turns out he was a sacrificial offering to his step-grandmother. Without him, she would never have grandchildren. When this arrangement turned sour because my ex and her new husband burned all of their bridges, they began to neglect him.

They ended up also being drug traffickers. He's back in prison.

Even having no record and being my child's primary caregiver, my being trans was clearly used against me despite my victories along the way.

He's now 21, living with me, and healing.

And we'd do it all over again because my son has a right to know who his parent really is, and is this in turn encouraged him to be himself against the pressure he faced from how other "parents."

There are also plenty of times that I realize that relationships with cis women are only rare because I'm trans, but if I have to lie about being someone else to put that back on the table, the relationship is doomed to failure regardless.

In the end, you gotta be you.