I disagree that narcissists can love other people. I think what they love is control. They love having a slave to validate their inflated, but hollow egos.

The feeling that they're really expressing through their shame and deflection (a la Ye) is the pain of the loss of their perfect puppet, the one that once contorted their identity to please them, the one that craves their validation and attention. Ye's tendency to reduce Kim to her body here is evidence of that.

You even said this in a more roundabout way; and like the Police sang: they can't, they can't, they can't stand losing.

This is why people - especially those with BPD - really need to develop stable identities before dating.

Without them, they become fodder for narcissists, their reactive abuse being used against them until they hate themselves for it, handing the narcissist a win in the game of breaking them down.

People with autism and ADHD are also inherently at risk.

Be safe out there, everyone. And remember: the only person who can really stop your narcissist in their tracks is you. It's painful, but oh so worth it.